The Big Ugly Blog is an honest and uncensored collection of anecdotes recounting the madcap shenanigans of a perpetually 39 year old divorcee, as she wades through the mire of the murky online dating pool - ravenously searching (evidently in vain) for the man of her dreams...Keep On Dreaming, Baby!


Friday, August 1, 2008

Some Crazy Shit is Going Down

Ok, so I just hid my profile on my favorite site, again, but this time it wasn't because I met some amazing man who I felt would capture my attention...forever! No! This time it was because some asshole with whom I spoke, a little while back, and who still checks in with me every once in awhile, and who I thought was a decent guy, and with whom I enjoyed clever conversation, and to whom I introduced my blog (not such a smart move, evidently) just e-mailed me and read me the riot act for being, no wait, I feel like I have to quote the entire letter - ready?

"Now I know who you are,,,,,,,,,,,,

Just read your blog,,,,,,,,,,,,,what a cum guzzling slut. I had you figured completely different (impeccable grammar, no?) Sounds like you like as many different dicks as you can possibly suck,,,,,,,,,er into talking with your lame ass. What a real whore.

FUCK you slut."

WOW! Either he (Jagermeister) is seriously hard up or I am way worse off than I ever realized. I just have to process this for a minute.............. First of all...have I ever said anywhere in any of my blogs anything about swallowing or even having the opportunity to do so? Sounds to me like somebody has something of a fascination or fixation with a certain sexual act. And judging by his unbridled anger/hatred I would venture to say that Papa ain't gotten any in a good long while, huh?

I reckon there is that possibility that I AM way off the deep end with all of this online dating stuff. But am I doing anything more exaggerated than anybody else on these sites? Yes, I do talk to a ton of men and yes, I do go on a lot of dates, and well, there is that silly business with the webcam, but I definitely don't fuck all of these guys, far from it. Once I finally meet them in person I am rarely ever interested enough to even remotely go there. I honestly consider myself somewhat selective...What? Don't laugh! Maybe what pissed this dick off so badly was the fact that after we talked initially, I only half-heartedly communicated thereafter, yet he insisted on trying to keep in touch with me. I probably only responded to his notes like every other time. Here's what I think, I think Jagermeister is jealous. I think he read my blog and couldn't handle the fact that some guys had made the preliminary cut but he hadn't been one of 'em, and frustration incited him to attack me with unfounded, slanderous remarks. If he could convince himself that I was a cum guzzling slut, it would soften the blow of my having subtly rejected him, cuz why would he or anyone else want to be with a cum guzzling slut? (Sorry to keep repeating such a nasty phrase, but the more I say it the less it bothers me) Not being able to control his bitter resentment, he acted on his overwhelming urge to punish me by puking his animosity all over my otherwise unblemished day. Know what else I think? I don't think he believes those icky things that he said about me, at all. I'll bet if there was some way to peel back his scalp and crack a hole into his scull and root around inside his puny brain, one would ascertain that he really thinks I'm just a dumb, old prick teaser, not a filthy, fucking whore. But this weenie was in a terrible a hurry to ream me a new one, and too ignorant to take a deep breath before acting on his resentment. I beg your pardon, but I don't think I've ever given anyone any reason to call me a "cum guzzling slut". Please correct me if I'm wrong, and I mean that seriously - TELL me what you think! Because if I am such a horrible wretch, I suppose I should be more discreet about it (eliminate the blog) that is - if I even decide to continue to utilize the web for trying to meet a long-term mate which IS the indisputable reason that I've even put myself into this situation right? Well that...and initially trying to get my mind off of Jimmy, but that's beside the point. Sure, I can admit that I've done stupid stuff before, (especially if I was drinking, perish the thought) haven't we all? But I've also had the sense to say "NO!" many times, as well as the good fortune of having divine intervention step in and save me from potential mishaps here and there, a la the young pilot.

I dunno, again, here I am questioning if writing this blog is really such a good idea. I love to write and I can only seem to write about real-life situations, and online dating is the most interesting thing that I've got going on right now. I guess I could write about working in my garden, but I don't think very many people would give a shit about that.

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