I invite you all to join me in a toast to celebrate garnering my very first Big Ugly Blog comments - Yippee!!! Someone (NOT one of my 4 or 5 devoted readers, I later deduced) had read the "Just a Little Confused, That's All" entry (I considered this to be an accomplishment, in and of itself!) and afterwards they were impelled enough to make their feelings known. I could not wait to find out what they had said, Oh Joy!...To my dismay though, I soon discovered that this was sadly, not positive feedback. Both "comments" were instead - succinct and acutely hostile personal attacks (motivated by jealousy, I surmised), their terseness indicating to me, without a doubt, who the author indeed, must have been. And I'm sure my one-way, anonymous pen-pal would be overjoyed to know that my initial glee from simply having received reader input, was quickly quashed by consternation. So - "Cheers!" to the big man, for that! I know that pointing the finger of blame when the clues are so vague is pure conjecture, and even if I'm wrong about who the cowardly culprit actually was, my supposition did at least alleviate my malaise from having, for those first few, brief seconds, worried that some random stranger had slung these antagonistic barbs my way. My thoughts morphed from utter embarrassment, "Yipes! I can't publish these comments!" to ire, "That Mother Fucker! How dare he bother me here!" to absurd optimism, "Oh my god, wait! I never thought I'd even hear from him again..." On the e-mail page I was given the options of rejecting these comments or posting them, and my knee-jerk reaction was to REJECT, REJECT, REJECT!!! desperately wanting them to disappear FOREVER! But then it dawned on me that I have intentionally gotten myself into this fairly vulnerable spot by essentially soliciting folks for their advice and opinions, positive or pejorative - and even though I was hoping for mad props for penning an amusing blog, seemed I better prepare myself to deal with inevitable backlash, like a big girl.
...As you know, last night I was to meet Alan out for the most "blind" date on which I've ever been. Not only had I never seen him, but I had never even spoken to him, not so much as a voice to go with my fabricated image of him. The only ways that we had ever communicated, were through texting and IM-ing. By all accounts, this was quite a crap shoot. Our plan was to meet at the bar in this fabulous, recently renovated, historic hotel, downtown. I absolutely love the room, high ceilings, dark walls, enormous fireplace, 'tis truly a sophisticated, sexy space and definitely my new favorite bar in town. The way I saw it, even if the date was shitty at least I could revel in the majesty of beautiful surroundings. We texted back and forth to let each other know of our whereabouts and apparently he had gotten there before me because he texted, "I'm here" When I finally made my grand entrance, I was surprised to see a group of 3 guys at the bar...Had he brought two friends along on our date? I scoped 'em all out, trying to figure out which one was my guy and I made eye contact with the second best looking one of the bunch, and gave him an inquisitive smile, as if to say, "Have I got the right fella?" He smiled back and his friend grabbed my arm and said, "come 'ere! You're sittin' with us!" Ohhh, silly me...none of these guys were my date. (Although the one in the middle was really cute!) I filled them in on my situation and began to spout off about online dating and how much fun it is, my usual sales pitch, when I was interrupted by a text from Alan wondering where I was. After a series of messages,we figured out that he had mistakenly shown up at the neighboring bar, so I offered to meet him out front, to make sure that he ended up at our target destination. I am extremely near-sighted and when I saw him round the corner, I was pretty sure that he looked ok, but not 100%. A few paces later he was clearly in my view and I was not at all disappointed. Honestly, he looked exactly the way he had described himself to me; he was tall, a big man but not fat, sort of a barrel middle, huge forearms, a dark, closely cropped, full head of hair, nice suntan and a pleasant face. We greeted each other with a big ole bear hug. I appreciated that he had accurately described himself and by doing so, I now believed that he had to possess at least a little integrity. We got ourselves comfy at the bar and the neighboring threesome got in a few sly digs, and then piped down for the remainder of their stay. Alan and I each had one drink and then opted to dine in a nearby hole-in-the-wall which offered slightly more casual fare. We got to my car first and I do believe he was smitten... with my car! It IS insanely cool! I turned my little car around in the middle of the street and waited for him to pull up behind me so we could caravan to the restaurant. Once we were parked I got to get a good look at HIS vehicle and I immediately fell in love...with his car! Oh my god! It was the niftiest Jeep I have ever seen up close, dark green, 4 spot lights mounted on the top, wench in the front, a big stowage rack on top fully equipped with a jack and a little shovel, SHIT! Blows my mind how the vehicle can impact one's perception of the person. Alan was looking better to me every minute! He was soft-spoken but rugged and he had a gentle giant kinda way about him. We enjoyed ease of quiet conversation and I was so relieved when he sprinkled his input with cuss words. I can't handle having to watch my own language, it's so stifling. He seemed to be something of an enlightened person, spiritual but not religious (he's studying Buddhism...cool), uncomplicated yet evolved. Once we were through with dinner we strolled up and down the Old Town Mall, I was amazed at the slow pace at which he lumbered along, I could barely put the brakes on enough for him to keep up. I had to wonder if it was because he didn't want the date to be over. We ended up back at the lot where our cars were parked at which time we carefully inspected each other's vehicles some more, fun! And then it was time to go home. We agreed that we'd had a nice time, hesitated, hugged...a little tighter this time, walked away, hugged again at which time he awkwardly planted a quick kiss almost on my mouth. It was cute to see such a hulk of a guy, so out of sorts. I reckon he'd been pleased with how our date had gone, as was I. I wasn't totally blown away by him, but I wasn't completely repulsed either - like I had been so many times before. Ya see, this is where the whole blog thing rears its big ugly head...Was this perfectly acceptable date good enough to draw me away from my addiction to online dating? Hard to say. All I do know, is that as soon as I was back home, and after considering going straight to bed, I ultimately gave in to the temptation that was waiting for me on my computer.
Oh, and for those of you who may be curious as to whether I bought condoms before this date or not...the answer is NO! I still had all of the ones I bought the night of the young pilot safely stored in the glove box of my cute, little car, so HA!
...As you know, last night I was to meet Alan out for the most "blind" date on which I've ever been. Not only had I never seen him, but I had never even spoken to him, not so much as a voice to go with my fabricated image of him. The only ways that we had ever communicated, were through texting and IM-ing. By all accounts, this was quite a crap shoot. Our plan was to meet at the bar in this fabulous, recently renovated, historic hotel, downtown. I absolutely love the room, high ceilings, dark walls, enormous fireplace, 'tis truly a sophisticated, sexy space and definitely my new favorite bar in town. The way I saw it, even if the date was shitty at least I could revel in the majesty of beautiful surroundings. We texted back and forth to let each other know of our whereabouts and apparently he had gotten there before me because he texted, "I'm here" When I finally made my grand entrance, I was surprised to see a group of 3 guys at the bar...Had he brought two friends along on our date? I scoped 'em all out, trying to figure out which one was my guy and I made eye contact with the second best looking one of the bunch, and gave him an inquisitive smile, as if to say, "Have I got the right fella?" He smiled back and his friend grabbed my arm and said, "come 'ere! You're sittin' with us!" Ohhh, silly me...none of these guys were my date. (Although the one in the middle was really cute!) I filled them in on my situation and began to spout off about online dating and how much fun it is, my usual sales pitch, when I was interrupted by a text from Alan wondering where I was. After a series of messages,we figured out that he had mistakenly shown up at the neighboring bar, so I offered to meet him out front, to make sure that he ended up at our target destination. I am extremely near-sighted and when I saw him round the corner, I was pretty sure that he looked ok, but not 100%. A few paces later he was clearly in my view and I was not at all disappointed. Honestly, he looked exactly the way he had described himself to me; he was tall, a big man but not fat, sort of a barrel middle, huge forearms, a dark, closely cropped, full head of hair, nice suntan and a pleasant face. We greeted each other with a big ole bear hug. I appreciated that he had accurately described himself and by doing so, I now believed that he had to possess at least a little integrity. We got ourselves comfy at the bar and the neighboring threesome got in a few sly digs, and then piped down for the remainder of their stay. Alan and I each had one drink and then opted to dine in a nearby hole-in-the-wall which offered slightly more casual fare. We got to my car first and I do believe he was smitten... with my car! It IS insanely cool! I turned my little car around in the middle of the street and waited for him to pull up behind me so we could caravan to the restaurant. Once we were parked I got to get a good look at HIS vehicle and I immediately fell in love...with his car! Oh my god! It was the niftiest Jeep I have ever seen up close, dark green, 4 spot lights mounted on the top, wench in the front, a big stowage rack on top fully equipped with a jack and a little shovel, SHIT! Blows my mind how the vehicle can impact one's perception of the person. Alan was looking better to me every minute! He was soft-spoken but rugged and he had a gentle giant kinda way about him. We enjoyed ease of quiet conversation and I was so relieved when he sprinkled his input with cuss words. I can't handle having to watch my own language, it's so stifling. He seemed to be something of an enlightened person, spiritual but not religious (he's studying Buddhism...cool), uncomplicated yet evolved. Once we were through with dinner we strolled up and down the Old Town Mall, I was amazed at the slow pace at which he lumbered along, I could barely put the brakes on enough for him to keep up. I had to wonder if it was because he didn't want the date to be over. We ended up back at the lot where our cars were parked at which time we carefully inspected each other's vehicles some more, fun! And then it was time to go home. We agreed that we'd had a nice time, hesitated, hugged...a little tighter this time, walked away, hugged again at which time he awkwardly planted a quick kiss almost on my mouth. It was cute to see such a hulk of a guy, so out of sorts. I reckon he'd been pleased with how our date had gone, as was I. I wasn't totally blown away by him, but I wasn't completely repulsed either - like I had been so many times before. Ya see, this is where the whole blog thing rears its big ugly head...Was this perfectly acceptable date good enough to draw me away from my addiction to online dating? Hard to say. All I do know, is that as soon as I was back home, and after considering going straight to bed, I ultimately gave in to the temptation that was waiting for me on my computer.
Oh, and for those of you who may be curious as to whether I bought condoms before this date or not...the answer is NO! I still had all of the ones I bought the night of the young pilot safely stored in the glove box of my cute, little car, so HA!
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