The Big Ugly Blog is an honest and uncensored collection of anecdotes recounting the madcap shenanigans of a perpetually 39 year old divorcee, as she wades through the mire of the murky online dating pool - ravenously searching (evidently in vain) for the man of her dreams...Keep On Dreaming, Baby!


Saturday, July 12, 2008

Just Tryin' to Win the Lottery

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I play the lottery, religiously, every Tuesday and Friday. I always let the computer pick 3 sets of numbers for me and I do not feel the least bit badly about spending $6 a week on the chance to win millions. So I drop a little coin each week to perpetuate the notion that - hey - people do win, why the heck couldn't it be me this time? It's one of the more benign of my regular self-indulgences, similar to the way some folks treat themselves to a Starbucks coffee, a couple of times a week, you know?...Not such a big deal. Anyway, this week, two friends of mine told me that they had dreamt that I had WON THE LOTTERY! Needless to say I gambled a little more than my usual $3 this Friday, in an attempt to manipulate my luck and potentially be able to ultimately classify my friends' dreams as premonitions. Simultaneously, I was preparing myself for the next day's inaugural date with Thierry, the very sweet, man tres romantique, with whom I had most recently become, um...enchanted? So my best friend stops by to have a cocktail and to use my high-speed internet driven Mac instead of her own dial-up piece of crap PC, in order to set up her own profile on a dating website, HOORAY! Anyhoo, we were talking about Thierry and the lottery and the dreams and all that pertinent stuff and out of my mouth came a statement over which I swear to God, I had no control. I told my best friend right there in my kitchen that I would rather meet a man with whom I could share the rest of my life in mutual happiness and undying love for each other, both of us loving each other's kids (since that would unavoidably be a fraction of the equation, from my end, at least) over winning the frickin' lottery. It just came out. I had to think for a second if I actually meant it, and I realized in an instant, that I truly did. Huh. And you should also know that right now I am in the deepest financial straights of my whole life with no sign of radical improvement in my future, so, believe me - I DO wanna win the lottery. But honest to God, and I know it is gonna sound horrifyingly corny, I believe that if I could find ultimate and infinite happiness with a man, that would be the equivalent of, or even better than winning the lottery, in a sense.

I did not win the lottery Friday night and by the time my friend left my house around 11 p.m., I still had not heard from Thierry about firming up our tentative plans for Sat. Morning. I had called him around 8:30 Fri. evening and was so bummed when he didn't pick up cuz I then had to leave one of those uncomfortably rambling messages. I tried to sound upbeat and positive, but secretly I worried that he was back-peddling a bit or maybe even bowing out completely. I was convinced I was jilted, yuck. But, oh blessed be! At around, I dunno, 11:45 he called and said that he had been at work and that he had programmed my ph. # into his cell, incorrectly and so he wasn't able to get in touch with me until he was back home again. Phew! We were still ON!

We met today and had a lovely morning hanging out in Georgetown for a late breakfast before he had to go to a 12:00 meeting at work. We talked the whole time, I thought he was adorably cute (very good nose and hands, critical!) and even though I think we started off a leeetle sluggishly, we wound up pretty revved. So, no...I still have not won the jackpot but I would venture to say that my first date with Thierry was at least the equivalent of winning a $2 ticket and lord knows I'll be investing those "2 bucks" right back into my little lottery of love. Would it be asking too much if I could just win back at least the equivalent of 10 bucks, on our next date, hmm?

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